Redefining This Blog as a Diary

This is no doubt a Blog in search of definition. For now it will continue to be a kind on online diary. A place where I can air my views in an uncensored fashion. Some may be unpopular, some may be bizarre, yet this is my 'freedom to speak'. Doing so has certainly made me feel calmer and more 'centered'. There are no secrets between me and this Blog- it is an intimate look at my mind, written for three audiences-

1) Me
2) Everyone
3) No-one

(You may remember the last two as the dedication given in Nietzche's Thus Spake Zarathustra, which I am now reading again on my mobile phone!) For now I haven't told too many people I know about it. This is partly to preserve the 'freedom of speech' aspect. One might say-what is the point of freedom of speech when no-one or just a few are listening? Good point! Yet the constraints of knowing people are listening is a curb on free expression in itself. The need to be in keeping with a 'persona' made up through contact with society, by it's very definition a limited glimpse of my personality, is itself such a curb. The only curbs I really want to have operating here are

1) That the speech aims to heal, not to hurt
2) That the speech aims to present itself artistically, truth being beauty and beauty truth.

So this is my anonymous Blog, yet by having all the things I really wish to say, as I wish to say them it is paradoxically the least anonymous.

One issue does remain-how to share that which is born to be shared in my mind- which I would say is the artistic and enlightening material, as well as the inspired voices. For this I have four choices-

1) Edit any personal rambling out of this Blog (thus depriving me of the 'online diary' nature of it).
2) Copy the inspired stuff from here to be put in yet another Blog; a fourth Blog, which is more publicly advertised and might attract a suitable audience.
3) Carry on as now with the hope that some higher purpose will be served by having both my mortal and 'immortal' musings together. This does run the risk of alienating some of the potential readership, who will be bored by either the diary or the inspired stuff.
4) Do as in 3 but also create a fourth blog, as in 2.

For now my favourite choice is 4. This one will carry on as before, placing self-expression before art, it will remain a hidden gem on the internet. I can say anything I want about teaching in Japan here (read without bothering anyone who may hold it against me), anything I want about politics (read conspiracy stories that are, to me, far more than mere theories), any bizarre (read for me highly intelligent) religious views. I need only tell the people in my daily life who I really consider friends, who I trust to understand what I have to say and to do so in context. That context being the person they know- that person alternately generous and selfish, but most of all wishing to be a fair, harmonious, Libran.

You may call this a kind of cowardice, yet please remember that discression is the greater part of valour and also that the keyboard is mightier than the credit card. I think to some extent democracy and freedom of speech have found a natural home on the internet. Anyone can read this and is free to respond as they wish, the author being almost irrelevant. I hope in some way it helps people grapling with similar feelings- trying to be good, enjoy the wonderful life they are grateful for, all in a world that sometimes seems so confused.

Starfire