A New Understanding

Recently, there have been times when I feel washed over by some great stream of love, whether lying in bed or walking in beautiful nature. I thought it was coming from someone in particular, but now I think it's source is God. Love for humans seems to be channeled through people, as God loves us through us loving one another- nothing more profound has ever been found. I just started to realise that it is so strong that it can only be considered sacred, a great healing stream of Love, personalised especially for me. My thought now is that it is coming from God, it is of the same essence as Jesus, it is the love of God and of Jesus.

That Jesus is more than a historical teacher is a new understanding for me. I intellectually accepted such a possibility before, but now it seems to be to some extent a truth in my reality- a very different proposition. The first time this happened in living memory was when I was going to move apartments and he appeared out of no-where, lying next to me. Yet, really, it was as if he had always been there, not just in himself, but in the great network of loving people who have sustained and helped me throughout my time on this planet.

I have to accept the possibility that he really did come to Earth to teach us, show us how to live and then suffer on a cross, to awake in a spiritual body later. Doctrinal issues such as whether or not he actually died on the cross are not my concern- the point being that he cared and made sacrifices to set us free- sacrifices we no longer need to make. This new freedom to experience great love is coming more into my awareness and it is a healing presence, to the extent that I let it in and remove my distrustful barriers.

One thing that taking LSD really did teach me is that there are who universes of reality that we habitually block out, and that when our blocks are removed, it seems to flood in- but at the same time it is as if we knew that it was always there. In the case of this love- God's love- I seem to be ever-blocking it with my distrust, my paranoia, my clinging to everyday consciousness and an insecurity in my surroundings that seems to always be with me. Of course, I am not alone in this and to some extent this is the problem with just about everyone- blocking God's ever-present love with their thoughts, wayward feelings and self-centered ways of life.

Now, it is almost a battle to see which will win. I have to be somewhat socially aware to do my job well. Yet this social awareness brings with it the danger of politics, of feeling I have to defend my position from possible attacks. Granted, this is a paranoid way to see work, and a more positive, expansive view would be better. Of course, I hope this positive view succeeds. Yet, it is ever-hard to integrate a higher awareness with daily activities, especially when one's surroundings do not exactly encourage such awareness. Yet, I will find a way.

It is possible to have love and daily reality, the first enlightening the other. It is possible to trust those around you and forgive their trespasses when they mistakenly injure our sense of well-being, in however small a way. With that gift of forgiveness, the path of love is laid free. God showed us a way to live in the world and simultaneously be filled with His love- a love channeled by his people. This is why so many love songs mix the human love with it's divine source. It is as it was prophesied- love and daily reality, the first enlightening the other.