Writing Japanophilia

I've recently started making a blog called 'Japanophilia', The idea behind it is to make an accessible resource for people interested in Japan. Also, it has a view to perhaps ending up as something with commercial potential- not so much 'selling out' as making a wide audience possible. Of course, if that lead to other opportunities, that won't be turned down.

The problem is that so much of the subjective, the confused, the exaggerated, exists in my writing. It could be said, so much that is subjective perhaps to the point of esotericism. Is it just me? Who knows? Certainly, I have my own perspective of things, informed by my unique collection of experiences. I want to inform and share, yet I also want to be free to be myself. Here, below is my account of Sawara, which I have still yet to edit to appeal to a wider and commercialised world. I wonder how it will end up, following my best instincts. This is how it looks now, at any rate-

A town that used to be a city, Sawara is as sleepy a backwater as you could hope to see, complete with a canal flanked on either side by gorgeous weeping willow trees, practically drinking the water they hang over. Going there a couple of days ago, free from the weekend or even more extensive festival crowds, was a relaxing but inspiring experience. I've been there before, for the tremendous summer festival- now was a chance to see it's quiet side, along with my friend Elizabeth, author of Chibaraki Life, a blog about things in Chiba and Ibaraki. Each of us ready with camera in hand, we set off for the wild (well, really not so wild!) world of Sawara.

Central to Sawara and it's charm is the canal running through the center of the town and connecting it to the wider world by the Onogawa river. You can ride a boat down this, lined by weeping willows, seeing where merchants used to descend steps to trade produce, on what was once an important trading route on the way to Tokyo.It was a very pleasant and friendly ride; this being a week-day, there weren't so many tourists around, so we could get more attention and time.

 As I often do, I enjoyed getting lost in the microsphere of the 'Tiny Universe'- taking photos of textures on the walls of old houses and finding flowers shooting up amidst ancient ruins. Having so many old structures (Sawara was spared wartime bombing, perhaps because it's unimportance, perhaps for it's heritage), they were everywhere to be found- like the rings on trees, they tell stories of the age and endurance of the town, that has been through so many time periods, but kept it's charm intact. People still come here in droves, not so much to trade, as to reconnect with it's history and deep feeling.

Away from the town center lie various shrines and temples, which all seem to be well kept up, one of the better effects of tourism. I enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere of their gardens and their reverence for nature. We made our way to Kanpukuji temple, a quiet and green area that gave us respite from what was proving to be a long walk. We enjoyed the gardens and simple, meditative atmosphere. Temples in Japan are both places of (occasional, most Japanese people don't consider themselves to be religious) worship and the home to whatever monks or priests may be there. This one had the feeling of a large country garden, as well as the ambiance of the various prayers that have been uttered here over the centuries.

We made our way to a Suwa Shrine, past a statue of the man (Tadataka Ino, who looked like a samuri with all his swords), credited with mapping the whole of Hokkaido, simply by pacing the distances by foot, the first person to ever do so. Whilst I think there must be more to the story than that, no doubt he achieved some great feats, especially considering the perilously unstable nature of Japan at the time. A man was waiting there to  share the history with passing visitors.

Walking up the steep steps, we could see it as a storehouse of memories for the community, of deeds done long ago. with boat propellers and anchors lying amongst the grounds.

After a while it was time for lunch. Near the canal are a variety of shops and restaurants, surprisingly quite a few based around sushi. The one we went to had a very friendly man, keen to tell us about the town and to share the secrets of good food. He gave us some special Japanese green tea, which tasted fresh and invigorating,. Apparently the tea and rice all comes from nearby Narita, which is a famous agricultural area alongside having of course Japan's main airport. Farmers have strong movements to keep the character of the place intact, refusing to sell land in some cases when there are calls to expand the airport. In a way, this illustrate's a central feature of Japanese life- the urge to modernise and the call to maintain traditions. Generally they exist side-by-side, seemingly out of conflict in harmonious Japan, , but every so often people feel the need to draw lines in the grass. Certainly, I am glad to see Narita keep it's culture and the sushi was excellent, aesthetic and delicious at once.

Just outside the town, a short taxi-ride away, lies Katori Jingu, a shrine in the Shinto tradition, the designation Jingu referring to it's connections with the Imperial family and grandure. Unlike a lot of places in Japan, it is very much a living place of spirituality, with ritualised, rhythmic dances performed for the gods to see. We actually saw two- one by kindergarden students chanting in a hypnotic, rythmic fashion that seemed to make all of time slow down to it's rythmn. Then there was a second, silent one inside the shrine itself by the miko-san, or shrine maidens, (these days, usually university students doing a low-stress part-time job). Out of politeness we didn't watch it too closely, but I could sense the slow, swaying rythmns of that ancient culture, the subtle, understated actions that belie passionate emotions, astheticised to the point of scerentity. With all that was happening and the stillness of it, the shrine has a very quiet, regal atmosphere, softened and made more serene by the presence of so many tall trees. like you can find at that more-accessible of Jingu, Harajuku's Meiji-Jingu.

Naturally, any association with Japan's Emperors are controversial for many and the issue of this often comes up with the subject, for Japanese people as much as foreigners, many of whom refuse to even set foot in 'Jingu' for this very reason. From my point of view though, though, it should be remembered that with the post-war turnaround Japan made to being a pacifist society, shrines are much less linked to Japan's former empire these days (with the exception of the infamous 'museum' of WW2 in Yasukuni Jinja, that is). National pride as a member of the family of nations, as seems to be being cultivated in Japan these days, may even be a good thing. At any rate, we can safely make a distinction between the 'State Shinto' that revolved around nationalism and 'folk Shinto', that deifies and stands in awe of the forces of nature. Like many other Westerners who feel their own culture has been robbed of a sense of the magical, the mysterious, even the sacred in nature, such places now appear as an invaluable resource. The trees are quite literally revered as sacred, propped up with supports and treated with bandages to ensure they live for centuries- rocks are wrapped around with prayer flags. All of this is a recognition of the divine force flowing through all things, which is so visible in these great trees.

In a sense I'm neither for or against religion- what matters more is what it is used for; either trying to control people, or helping them to rediscover their true and better nature, the power that animates the universe itself.  I was in awe of the massive tree standing there in Katori Jinja, draped in prayer flags, radiating energy all around it.

We were lucky enough to see a dance by some elementary school girls. With a steady rhythm, they paced out a chant-like song that had a hypnotic melody, going on for quite a while. After that, some of the Miko-San (shrine maidens) did their own dance inside the shrine itself. You could just about see them from outside and it had a similar haunting beauty, more like a trance or a ritual  than a dance in the usual sense. If it is a form of communication with 'the gods' and the gods reside in the subconscious, then I suppose this is appropriate. For me the melodies are very soothing and inspiring, with a delicacy that is hard to find in a rushed, modern world. To be around all this was fascinating and it certainly brought the place to life, a life that in one way or another has gone on for so many centuries; and if the birth-dates ascribed to many shrines are to believed, millennia even.

After visiting the shrine, along with it's small museum of relics and gifts from all over the world (my favourite of these being the cartoonesque Phoenix-head ship prow from an old ship, that reminded me of the character from Osamu Tesuka's classic manga), we had a hot cup of macha and snacks in a small cafe, amongst a row of small restaurants and souvenir shops lining the route to the great Tori, the gate marking entrance in into the shrine grounds. The sun was setting and another full day was coming to a close. (By the way, you can se some more photos from the day at this Flickr Gallery)

Falling Skies, Falling Wages... But Rainbows Are Still to be Found

Warning- long rant to follow!

It might be strange to change subjects like this, but I am just a regular man after all... and living in a material world like the rest of us. One depressing thing about life in Japan is seeing how the wages for English teaching have gone steadily down over the years since I arrived. Some may think me a picky snob, but, not wanting to fill up all my spare time with teaching, and thus reserve ample time for my blogging and photography, I want to get paid well for everything I do. I am pretty bitter about the amount of people wanting me to do them a 'favour' and teach them for free or for reduced wages.

Hanging out with friends and sharing English is one thing. Being manipulated for the other's gain is quite another- and if you can't guess- it is something that really riles me up. Teachers deserve to be treated just as considerately as other professions, they shouldn't be pushed to the point at which they feel the need to 'protest'- even more so, their protestations should never be disregarded or seen as a sign of a lack of appreciation. Teachers are professionals just like anyone else (even if they aren't perfect!) People may mean well, but they can be so inconsiderate! The abysmal result of this way of thinking has been the infamous Nova- where low wages for English-teaching have been pretty much institutionalised and teachers protests regarding conditions are routinely ignored. Let me explain...


Recently moving has meant a lot of extra expenses. True, I could get cheaper things, but then I am filling my place with stuff I don't really want, just cutting corners on it. This being stuff to use for a long time, my 'second generation', which may well be hard to even move out to replace it if I want better, I really see no point in that. So, some part of my mind yesterday said... "Universe, please send me another class, preferably a business class, with good pay".

Just when the thought went through my mind, my phone repeatedly buzzed (in it's silent 'manner mode'). Since I was teaching at the time, I left it and it turns out it was a friend and then Hitachi Business English Division. Had my prayers been answered? Well, yes and no (note the title). Indeed, it was a business class, but not of the 8-15,000/hr variety I have met many people teaching. No, this one is a lowly 4,000/hr. True, not bad, but on top of an already fairly busy schedule it isn't really what I'm looking for. Some may call me greedy, but I want something that pays really well for a business class, not just moderately well.

By my maths, I would have to do loads of those classes to get a decent amount of money, but far less of a better-paid one. But the class itself would be the same, in terms of all the other factors. The students would be just as good, the text would be the same, the level of appreciation. Put simply, I have enough, 'bread and butter' work. I need more of the cream to go on top of it.

So, I said the word I hate to say- no. In Japan it's considered very rude and even more rude to quibble about payment (which is exactly why it is better to get a well-paid job, people will be very reluctant to try to pay you less, not to mention the possible illegality of that, once a contract is signed). So, if i had wanted to work for them anyway, there would always be a subtle distrust of me, I would be labelled 'selfish'. The more polite, Japanese thing to do would be to keep it all secret, just as they tried to keep the pay for this job secret (my friend told me, she didn't mention it until I asked) and just say, 'sorry, I'm too busy to do that'. But I think I was helping her realise why they were having trouble finding, or keeping a teacher. The job isn't just about the pay, it's about satisfaction, enjoyment, helping others. Like it or not, in a world that revolves around money just as much as around love, this is a very important factor, which it is foolish to ignore.

She tried to sweet-talk me some more, in her squeaky, sugary-sweet voice (which may be the way she is, but I detected more than a trace of manipulation in it). "Please, it's only for 6 months- we really need a teacher." Well, if they aren't willing to pay as much as everyone else, it can't be such a high priority after all. Which leads me to my point- that wages for English teaching are falling all over the place here in Japan, despite it being an amazingly rich country. This is all to do with the perception that foreigners are a dime a dozen, and that any who come to Japan must be students/dirt poor, and thus will appreciate being paid a pittance as it's better than nothing for them. Also, being kind-hearted, they will do anything you nicely ask them to do. Not only that, but the less they work for, the more sincere their friendship.

All these dangerous misconceptions have driven a good portion of professionals away from English-teaching here, except in a few unaltered jobs with pristine conditions that the administrators have been wise enough to maintain (public schools who hire directly are a good example here, or well-paying universities). The rest is fast becoming a wasteland for anyone over the age of 22-odd as there are droves of people expecting you to teach for next to nothing, whilst they still get their (reduced) profits from it.

So the moral of this story is, if anyone hopes to come to Japan for a travel experience or a change of pace, that's a great idea. But if they are coming to settle down here, or to save, they had better be very careful what kind of a job they get (a teaching certificate or a masters degree in any English-related subject is a great help here), as the part-time work has fallen down through a hole and into a dark pit, at least in terms of the financial compensation. You will be treated better and far happier in the more-respected, better paid stuff- your kind self-disregard in accepting less pay will just be seen as a sign of your own gullibility, should you go for the work where budgets have been slashed to save for other departments. People will try to get you to help them out and to an extent they will appreciate this- but no more than the people who pay you properly, and if you are anything like me you will resent people trying to take advantage of you, whilst they enjoy their far more decent salaries and or familial support network.

This may well all sound a bit cynical to you, but Japanese companies have for a long time had to pay very comfortable salaries to their employees and have just realised all the loop-holes offered by employing people part-time- not having to give bonuses, not having to pay insurance, pensions, etc. So they are doing the same to Japanese part-time workers/ temps. Just don't get stuck in that rut, you'll be surrounded by embittered people who feel, quite honestly, shafted by a system that sees them as a cheap route to greater profits, as a saving. They may well be emotionally manipulated to stay there, made to feel guilty about looking for something better. Yet, this kind of exploitation is not what God wants for his children. We aren't here to be slaves for others, used and abused for their gain. Break free, children, break free! Find places that appreciate you and treat you well. Don't be afraid to say 'no' to giving someone just what they want, even if it isn't any good for you.

Rant over... for now! I am still on the look-out for the dream, super-well paid private classes which pay money like milk from a cow's udder. Tax-deductible toys for the company to relax with a foreigner, leading to streams of gold pouring into their pockets. I smell early retirement, endless electronic goodies, holidays in the sun... all for a silly few hours of 'neo-work'. I smell money for nothing and the chicks for free! I smell an escape from standardised micro-wages and into mega-bucks that fall from heaven, right into my very appreciative lap. I've seen it happen- a friend of mine actually made a private class that netted 15,000 an hour, two hours a week of it! Is it good or bad... I don't ultimately know. But it sure makes life easier to not have to money about the green stuff anymore!

Living Long Term in Japan

One thing that troubles me a lot about being in Japan is the lack of commitment and caring of the Japanese towards the long-term residents here, who chose to make it their home. There is a lack of stable English teaching positions that can be guaranteed to last for many years, despite the need for experienced teachers. This attitude is exacerbated by the 'get rich quick' attitude of some of the agencies here, who most definitely put profits before people and appeal to the basest arguments that 'Capitalism exists' to defend firing teachers who earn more than they would like or in order to make the flow of newer teachers possible.

It is one thing to condemn these dehumanising practices. Legally, this is possible and there are indeed cases in which compensation was awarded for wrongful dismissal or even in which the deterrent threat of such cases has lead to people keeping their positions, however bad teachers they may in fact be (Japanese teachers are often bad, but don't get treated this way- not to defend the practice, 'bad teaching' is common in Japan, largely due to the often unresponsive students who don't really notice either way and is at it's most common in universities).

But such approaches, whilst brave in their reinforcement of equal rights, even in an Asian country like Japan which feels it only needs to demand equal rights from others (which is often the case with Islamic countries, that oppress other religions, yet demand their own rights crying foul if they are infringed), don't address the root cause. The route cause is perceptions of foreigners that remain unchallenged and also the lack of any effective organisation by foreigners, to mutually assure employment security. A foreigner will support transfer of another foreigner at the slightest hint that they may prove a liability- the so-called 'trade unions' of foreigners have been unable to really change things in such an environment. Cost-cutting has hit the foreign teaching community quite hard, with less secure employment and lowered wages.

The problem is that Japanese people perceive foreigners as temporary residents who will soon go home and also as a kind of vehicle for entertainment. Basically, as a guest, they treat foreigners very nicely and with much affection and warmth. Yet they also expect them to go away when the time is right- even extending this approach to the workplace, despite the unusually strict rules that have made employment for Japanese people some of the most secure in the world. This security came much to the chagrin of the US right-wing, which hopes to erode such decency in the name of greater profits and a greater gap between haves and have-nots, a gap that is growing in Japan, but still relatively minor when compared to the US and Britain, which is ironical considering their avowed moral leadership.

There is often a double standard. On the one hand, this makes Japan one of the friendliest countries I've ever been to- just about everyone is warm and pleased to see you. It's like being in heaven this way. Yet when the issue of long-term employment, buying property, or any of the usual attributes of an adult life and 'equality' come into the question; the Japanese often start to panic. "You mean- you're here to stay? I might never have 'my' county pure and free from gaijin again?" Attitudes which would be neatly condemned as racist in any Western country survive here unmolested because Japan, as an Asian country, is marked a 'victim' and allowed to be as protectionist and xenophobic and anti-multiculturalist as she pleases, without meeting censure.

Of course, this is wrong. But it is also a feature of the current world situation, in which those who travel eastwards become 'guests' and those heading westwards become often coldly, yet decently received as 'immigrants'. I can't in all honesty say that one system is definitively superior to the other (though the Western is 'fairer'); when I take into account the culturally-enriching experience of living in a country like Japan. Yet I would like more of the Western values to permeate here- the amount of long-term residents calls for a change in perceptions of them. Not everyone wants to bring to an end a lifestyle they fully enjoy.

How long can one be the family guest? Perhaps, economic considerations being looked after by securing appropriate sources of funding, for a lifetime.

Faulty Forex

Yet there is another issue in my life which reared it's ugly head recently. A while back a friend of mine got involved with a small forex company- a currency trading company. At the time I was very interested in dabbling in it myself and it seemed like a great way to safely get involved.

The operative word here is seemed. He skirted over my questions about the company, for whom he told me he was working as a salesman rather than as a trader. He said that they had a long, established history and that some of the traders there had been working for many years.

Well, to cut a long story short, or to be honest make a short story shorter, in fact this friend B was left in charge of the money, and had absolutely no clue how to manage it. Within two months, albeit with frequent updates, he had managed to lose the entire 1,000,000 yen (almost $10,000) that me and another friend called M had jointly put there.

The company refused to take any responsibility for it, only offering he two of us a job doing the same thing! B seemed very sorry and at that time also very poor. So, feeling sorry for his plight we basically forgave him. And it seems he decided that as far as his responsibilities were concerned that was the end of it.

He told me that if I wanted the money back from the company I should take the time to pressure them. He wouldn't do anything- it was all down to me, even to hire a lawyer if necessary. Well okay, we have seen each other since and he is basically a fun guy to hang around with, but I can't completely forget about what he did or the misleading way in which he tricked us. I see him as a friend but not really someone to trust. Forgiveness is the most important thing- the balm for anger. Yet it doesn't erase responsibilities to put thing right. The problem here is that he takes no responsibility, even when the friend M is about to have a baby and moved closer to his wife's family so as to save money. Does B have a conscience? Does it need to be awakened perhaps!? More to continue on this soon...

Update- B. Said that he would pay back the money, as he said earlier, but that it 'would take time'. But he understood the message and agreed that he has the responsibility. For me, this very admission brings peace of mind.

Japan Uncensored- Part II

Japan is on the whole a wonderful and friendly place. One can have many wonderful experiences and times here- it is generally 'friendly' to Westerners. I myself have been the eternal tourist for the last 8 years or so and love life here. Yet no-where on earth deserves an entirely clean bill of health. There always comes a time when one meets the disagreeable things that lie beneath the surface. For me, the greatest release from them is writing about them. I get great joy from this honesty- and also from the sense that what I say may warn others and help make the situation better- whether or not it directly affects me. In a sense, to do any less would be a sort of cowardice on my part, a dereliction of an intellectual's duty. So please remember the sense of appreciation that underlies this message. There is much that is good about Japan. Yet there is also much that is wrong.

One of the sad things about Japan is the amount of anger and unfairness here. Certain men have an awful lot of power and, when in a position to do so, can use it in a way to bully others. Consequently a lot of people life in a cringing fashion, afraid of the next 'psychic blow'. People are often bad-tempered or just simply unhappy with their lot. Women bare the brunt of this frustration, followed closely after by underlings. I am not saying that there is no good feeling, or that the 'harmonious' feeling that Japanese pride themselves on are not primary. Just that 'bad feeling' has an unusual power here and that people are often hyper-sensitive to it. Which means that one does want to complain about something, one is often dismissed as 'being angry', or even worse, as being an 'aggressive boat-rocker'. It is hard for people to distinguish between is righteous anger and cruelty or perverse subversiveness. This of course is a global and an historical problem. When is the 'troublemaker' right? When are the disagreeable words heroic?

Generally things go smoothly here... So it is expected that all will always go smoothly, without the need for change. The people often seem almost robot-like in their observance of this. People try to always either be, or to look busy with their affairs. Often, also, the person who asks for the change is treated as some kind of a criminal. They have broken with the pattern and need to be punished in some way for it. This is of course a psychic punishment, Japan being a country which has evolved to the point at which things are more psychic than physical yet it is a punishment nonetheless. Whereas the whistle-blower is a good person, he or she is treated like a bad person. The person who raises the alarm is treated as a kind of criminal.
The person who complains is in some way the source of the problem- the problem being the existence of a complaint rather than the thing being complained about. Hierarchy, authority contains a kind of absolutist power that should not be questioned. Yet, at the same time, Japan is a living democracy. Like so many Western things bolted onto the traditional culture of Japan, democracy has found an accepting home but has little precedence. That is, there well have been ways to change things from below in Japan before, ways for opinions to be expressed without the persecution of the speaker, but they were few and far between. On the contrary, democracy presupposes the frequent expression of such views.

One way to avoid changes in Japan is for people to dismiss the idea as a mere groundless emotion. They like to see things in strictly emotional terms. If someone has a problem, then they are angry, the source of the problem- as the problem is not so much what happened as the very fact that they are angry. The person who complains is a complainer- the attention is quickly and subtly shifted from the event to the victim. This is all down to the Japanese fear of confrontation. Confrontation in and of itself is seen as a bad thing and that which could occasion it is likewise a social wrong. The victim of a crime, should they complain strongly or angrily, is seen as themselves in the wrong, until it is soundly proven that what they say is true and accepted by all. Evil is not evil in the sense of viciousness but in the sense of whatever disturbs the social harmony, for whatever the reason.

It is all a culture that westerners, or fair-minded people generally, cannot hope to fathom or be in agreement with. Yet it is also a very functional arrangement. Social harmony does persist and is protected- massive economic undertakings are possible, be they at the expense of personal development or moral righteousness. It is a lopsided system, but one which has rocketed to the top of the contemporary world economic environment. Capitalism focuses on productivity, with little regard for the arts, fairness, the gentler emotions, authentic personal development or morality. By making itself into a cohesive group devoted to productivity, Japan has risen to very near the top- for the first time in her otherwise obscure history. It could be said that, generally speaking, so have other East-Asian countries with similar moral codes, sacrificing their individuality for the country's gain.

Yet it would be naive to see Capitalism in and of itself as humanity's future- it is but a stage. Many other values and virtues will persist until the end, and the final and complete manifestation of world unity will be very different to that visible today. Morality will matter. Righteousness will triumph. Fairness will have the day. The 'meek will inherit the Earth'.

Of course I may seem a bit unfair in these assessments- there is of course lots of compassion, kindness, flexibility and so on in Japan. My intention here is not at all to make a kind of sweeping judgment. In fact, I don't see judging as really being my role. I am just commenting an sorry if in doing so I caused any offence! In my next post I will tell the story of what led to this reflection- giving a personal side to all of this- a subjective perspective, if you will. I do not pretend to be totally objective in my assessments! Yet, I am still entitled to my views and observations... Which may not always be what people would like to hear!

What Being a Westerner Means to Me

Why I am here- and also- What being a Westerner means to me

I suppose at the end of the day my real reason for being here is to build bridges with the people, especially the younger ones. Building bridges, not walls might be my motto. Also to spread the values of democracy and human rights, as if we from the West don't do this, even at times forcefully, we may be overwhelmed by successful tyrannies, treating their population like slaves and threatening our economies. We need to spread the values of freedom, especially in Asian countries like Japan and China, as they will be of great importance in the world economy. We need to ensure that human rights are the norm, not human wrongs- either can produce a working economy- yet only the former is good and right. we have to help to build good, peaceful societies around the world, as as to make the tyrannous ones the exception and empower those who inhabit them to take back their lands and call their lives their own.

This is all possible, if not inevitable. It is certainly, in my eyes, in God's plan, most prominently for America and Britain, as the strongest and most vital of the democracies. How we do this, on the other hand, is often for us to decide- and a mixture of kindness and firmness is called for, appropriately administered. Whilst America certainly has superior resources, to a certain extent the UK has superior knowledge and wisdom. Together then can certainly make a change for the better- and if they fail to, the tyrannies of the world will attempt to spread their darkness and overpower human freedom. We must ensure that this never happens and that God's plans are not thwarted by the 'wicked ones'- who hide behind petty nationalism to spread despair.

More about Japan

Now for some more talk about Japan.

After being here in Japan for 8 years, I see different truths to those who have been here for a shorter time. I could be falsely modest and call them opinions, but someone else who has been here as long will know exactly what I mean. I couldn't say these things to the ears of someone who has been here a shorter time. They simply couldn't believe the things I would say- the extremities of positive or negative perceptions.

Now when I leave my school I feel a surge of emotion in response. Real love in many cases. Some anger that the relationship won't be continuing as before. Although on the outside they are masks with a robot-like approach, inside Japanese people are very emotional. This helps explain their sometimes extreme responses, even to small things- the emotion is coming out. It doesn't always happen in a healthy way- notice the moments of rage or despair that can even lead to suicide or murder (quite different to the gangland killings more prominent in Western countries and here with the Yakuza, in that these involve everyday civilians, sometimes children).

So Japan is very repressed. Yet also there is a kind of innocence in their affection, especially with a foreigner. They do sweet things like giving unsolicited presents. Their smiles are sincere and their enthusiasm likewise- if only to sweetly say 'hello'. Some of the girls in my High School would sit very neatly, arranging the things on their desk and getting ready with their friends. Sometimes they would sing the songs we practiced together with their friends, swaying with the music- generally treating the class like a fun time to look forward to and making me feel welcome in 'their world'.

Lucky to Be Me

Overall, I feel so lucky to be myself, in Japan. People are so loving and kind. I just had a lunch in a small cafe, and the lady running it was happy to have me there. I think she gave me an extra desert for free. You could tell it was from the heart- real genuine kindness. This is what communication is. Not necessarily the language of the body or the mouth- but the pure language of the heart.

Japan- Some Uncensored Views!

This particular rant revolves around trying to get some paperwork from a particularly unscrupulous 'boss' I have here, in what is currently my main part-time teaching job.

It's kind of a difficult time for me right now. I wanted to assure the school that I am changing jobs for better conditions and that I really do care for the students. Why? I don't know, partly because I do really love this school and also maybe from feeling some pressure from them to show that I do. This did involve spelling out to the head of English the things I didn't like in the conditions. One of these is the salary, which will be a lot better in my next job, and isn't so great for what I am expected to do, as there is a lot of unpaid overtime spent preparing materials and no pay for a month in the spring. The other is the issue of 'on call days', which basically means that if the school doesn't need me, my salary continues, but I should be ready to be called up at any moment by the agency. There are also a lot of paid holidays which aren't 'on call', which of course is great.

These on-call days are used to keep track of the teachers. The man who runs the company randomly calls on them and if by any chance someone doesn't answer, he will deduct that day's pay. In fact, he even reserves the right to deduct far more than that, in a practice which would seem to be illegal. This never actually happened to me, possibly because he didn't want to upset the situation with the school, but he did call at 'surprising' times. One time was on the last week before the summer holiday started- I could well have gone away by then and then lost salary. He did the same thing in the winter holiday, leaving the impression that he was trying to catch me out. Another time he phoned me at about 6:00 pm and left a message asking to meet me the next morning. There was no urgent necessity to any of these meetings- they could have been planned longer in advance. He just wanted to check that I was really not doing any other jobs or on a trip, it seems. To be fair, other times he asked me in a more normal way to meet the next week- but these were mixed in randomly with the seemingly 'probing' calls. He also gives the option of having unpaid holidays instead of on-call days, which of course means sacrificing some of my salary, paid by the school, to him. Naturally, he is pretty keen on teachers doing this- but I figure- why not just give the whole paid holiday, which the school is financing, anyway? By not doing so he makes other jobs which do do this a lot more attractive. Also, let's not forget the way in which the on-call days are implemented- in a bizarre 'cat-and-mouse' fashion.

Along with getting literally double the salary in my next school, due to regular bonuses, I will be totally free from these games. Perhaps foolishly, I explained the entire situation to the head of English, who wanted to know all the facts about why I was changing. I told him to keep it secret as I wasn't supposed to be telling him such details. He totally understood why I and so many other teachers before me should want to change jobs- but became furious at the company for treating the teachers this way (and perhaps also a little angry at me for telling him all of this- who knows?). In a way this is good- he passionately cares and did what he thought was best to make things better. Yet of course really my employer is the agency, rather than the school; they handle my salary and provide the official paperwork.

The man from the agency was called in to explain what had happened and, I suppose, apologise. He (there seems to only be one there) is now accusing me of breaking my contract by divulging private details to a client. He has a separate paper alongside the contract saying not to divulge 'private details' of my relationship with the company to the clients. Of course, this request is completely illegal and this is probably why it is on a separate paper. Also, these conditions are hardly private as the school knows about them and told me it made for problems with former teachers- at least one of whom actually did have his salary docked for this reason, and then he promptly quit (they say).

Now the guy, who only ever met me in a coffee shop as he says his office is too far from the station (well, he said to others that it is under construction), keeps saying he is too busy to talk whenever I ask about a form called a 'certificate of income and withholding tax'. I am supposed to show this when I declare my earnings to the income-tax people. Legally, he is obliged to provide this. Yet, he is avoiding doing so. What's more, by saying I am in breach of the contract, he is basically threatening to dock my salary for talking with the Head of English. This really does make me mad-though it is presently just a fear of mine, that may never be realised.

You see, I was the one who worked in the school- it is my salary, not his. Yet he feels confident in behaving in this manner, presumably because the legal safeguards against it are so laxly enforced, and a general xenophobia makes it easy for the authorities to turn a blind eye to such behavior. This of course I find completely disgusting. The vulnerability of foreigners, though, is something we see all over the world, at least here people usually are happy to see a Westerner and these situations are fairly rare. Yet getting sympathy when you are in one is hard to find, as people generally say 'if you have a problem, why don't you just leave'- short-sighted advice for anyone who wishes to stay anywhere beyond a year or two. We people have a right to live around the world-

It really is sad to see the lack of legality prevalent with these English-teaching companies in Japan. I realise that they are businesses that need to compete to survive- by why all the unnecessary hassles and the disrespect for the rules? People might say I should be strong, I should get a lawyer- but why should I have to enforce the law myself? Why can't everything just happen in a normal, natural way? Why can't Japanese people get their pleasure from treating people nicely, rather than from trying to get revenge on them for one reason or another? Not telling me what is going on, withholding assistance and paperwork, it all seems to me like a kind of needless cruelty, looking for revenge. It makes me think of my worst images of the Japanese people, of their behavior in the war and all the war-crimes committed therein. Which, of course, are still a widely-suppressed fact here. No doubt, the guy in my company presently sees himself as the victim and me as disloyal- yet the loyalty he demands is a kind of undemocratic secrecy which has no place in modern societies.

Of course in most other situations, people here are very nice and kind, and they profess to value kindness above all else. I am generally treated very nicely and gently, especially by the females, who are quite delightful in their attention. That, I suppose is why I stay here, it outweighing the darker qualities which are there to be found if someone gets annoyed. Though, to be a little cynical, there have been times when I think my own kindness has been seen as a weakness to take advantage of. Certainly, the more business-like you are about things here, the more respect you are treated with. Kindness is loved- yet it has yet to receive the full respect accorded to raw strength. I don't mean to sound at all prejudiced in any of this- I am just remarking on societal trends that I have witnessed- trends which must be unnatural as they are so rarely to be found in the children, who are mostly lovely, although apparently bullying is widely tolerated.

Hopefully he will calm down and just give me the paper- though the official deadline for doing so is getting close. Of course it is true that all this is damaging his reputation in the school. Also, that until I decided to leave I really had quite a good relationship with him. Also that my contract asks for two months notice before it ends and I am giving three weeks. Yet also, it is true that the most he can legally fine me is 1/2 a day's pay. So if he does want to get revenge on me for leaving the job, he will have to break the law to do so. I wonder how much power the threat of unions and lawyers might have, even on small company which feels it can escape the sweeping radar of authority. One thing is for sure, though- he has no real power and is basically a sad little man trying to have more power than he really has. I am already out of his grasp and moving on to better things.



God will judge him for the reality of his behavior and he will judge himself. As my girlfriend says, who is going to try phoning him and finding out his attitude right now, this is all a test from God, so not without meaning. I trust God and my guardian angel to guide me towards a peaceful solution to all of this. God's love is so great that it extends to the unpleasant realities of life.

So yes, as a Libran, I do not really enjoy these unpleasant or material topics, but they are just as much a real part of life as anything else. I hope my intense attitude towards all of this has not upset my girlfriend.

It can make me feel very 'anti-Japan' when I feel unfairly or coldly treated here. I suppose, to be honest, I get an awful lot of stress from the adults in Japan, who I often feel are merely using me to their own ends and are rarely there for me when I have a problem. I have an awful lot of anger from this. It is not enough just to enjoy having someone around as a guest- you need to look after them, too. Caring about people is important.

What worries me most, as a long-termer here, is the idea that beneath the surface, sinister currents travel in the Japanese mind- hidden behind mask-like faces. I worry of attitudes of racial superiority, which excuse seeing foreigners as simply there to be used; of victim-complexes which excuse just about any kind of behavior, secure in the thought that the Japanese person is always the victim and therefore never wrong. Just looking at the hideously-violent and perverted manga comics makes you wonder- what is lurking beneath the face of harmony, perhaps capable of bursting out at the most unexpected opportunity? This is what worries me and I think worries a lot of people, about the Japanese. Several recent murder cases have made the Japanese uneasy on this point as well- some involving young children, as perpetrators as well as victims. Being unable to express emotions in a natural and healthy way, they can turn into something much harder to manage.

Still, I am confident that people here, as just about everywhere, are generally descent and well-intentioned; also that the progressive-minded ones, which include a lot of the younger generation, will have the day. Societies and people tend to ebb and flow in their attitudes- sometimes they even seem to be going in circles. There is still much xenophobia in Japan, alongside much warm, sincere friendliness. We shouldn't let the former blind us to the reality of the latter.

The Rock Band

I just went with my girlfriend to see some of my High school kids playing in a rock band they made, at a 'live house'. It was a fun event and they really were good. I saw it as a kind of farewell party to have with them- as I am changing to another school in the Spring. There was another small party we had with the English club and there will be a BBQ lunch with some of the teachers that I'm closest to.

They have a lot of talent - the lead guitar player was really into it and the girl doing vocals had a great voice, full of emotion. They played some Japanese classics which I know, with a lot of energy, even if they could do with more time to smooth out the rough edges in their act. We were surprised to see how passionate about it they are, we really felt like we were watching a band. Probably, it is pretty unusual for a teacher to go to this sort of thing, but I am pretty close to that class and also my girlfriend came along. I was glad she came, so she could see how cool my students are, and also as we had to wait a long time for them to play, before other bands got finished.

It was a great set-up- a small stage and cheap price for entry and drinks. Almost everyone in the audience was also a high-school student, or failing that an Akihbara-type, standing there in anorak and glasses, with folded arms. The other band we saw was all-girl and very 'cute', really playing at being a band. I thought, well if this is what they want to express, it's great that they have a venue like this and their friends can enjoy it with them. Much more creative than just listening to music, to also be making it themselves. So if they want to play at being cute- why not?

High School Life

You might be surprised, but in my school, I'm told I have a very friendly personality. I certainly love the kids and they me. They constantly come up with new ways to delight me. Japanese high-school kids love to be 'cute' and are often more interested in staying kids than in growing up. For example, it was raining the other morning and I was walking from the bus to the school with a couple of cute girl students. One of them said, giggling, 'It's raining... But I like rain'. I asked why and she said 'I grow- with rain and sun I can grow'- pointing to the nearby plants. I said, 'So are you a flower?' and she said 'Yes, a flower! (giggling). Her friend had a yellow umbrella and said- 'Look here's the sun'.

They have such innocent, happy minds and they wave to me from the windows, jokingly blowing kisses. Despite having to make and give tests now, a school is such a pleasant place to be. I am glad to be able to bring so much happiness to the student's lives. Their happiness becomes mine, too and I leave from there each day with a full heart.

The X-Ray Story

Well, just got back from having a chest X-ray. Am I sick? No- fear not, dear reader, this is just an obligatory part of being employed by a school in Japan. Part of my aforementioned contract is having a signed certificate from a doctor that I am a healthy specimen. Luckily, when I told the lady I taught a class for this morning she knew a very convenient place to have this done- next door! She tells me they are a 'Communist clinic', but that this doesn't make any difference. In the morning we had the x-ray done and then met there again after lunch to talk to the doctor about it- an interview which is also compulsory.

The doctor actually spoke good English and told me about how he had helped NGO's in India and Bangladesh and then been asked to give a speech to the medical students (in a very poor clinic in Calcutta) and to Jr. High School kids in Bangladesh! The clinic was pretty small but the friendliness made it all more enjoyable, and he joked about how healthy I was and asked all the obligatory questions about abdominal pains and so on. To top it off, I was able to get a ride back to my apartment! I really can't believe just how lucky I am.
The only thing which went slightly wrong was that I had also asked for a test of my blood type. This is because in Japan everyone is always asking for your blood-type as an indication of your character. For instance, 'O' type is supposed to be a bit lackadaisical yet reliable, whilst 'A' type is the of a perfectionist-yet I always have to give the disappointing answer that I simply don't know! Somehow, they misunderstood and had done a regular blood test, but I said I still wanted to find out so they took a second sample, which seemed pretty unnecessary to me but I suppose the other one had already been sent away or something. So I am feeling just a little faint now, but not too faint to write this blog... And also am feeling very thankful for that ride home, just when I was feeling a bit light-headed.

Earlier today, in the class, I asked my students what they thought would be interesting for them in a Blog. I told them about how I had been thinking how best to communicate to people in an entertaining and inspiring way. Since they are regular students who I have known for years, I also told them about my dream. One of them had been to an orchid exhibition on Sunday and showed me pictures of the flowers on her mobile phone. I told her about the flower in the dream and that people only partly love flowers because they are beautiful- also because they display emotion. she was very intrigued by this idea.

The other girl, who works for Toyo Films in the creative research department, designing merchandise and attending previews, suggested a fantasy-story with frequent updates. There was apparently a girl who drew a cartoon of a cat every day on her Blog, which was so cute and became so popular that it became a fully-fledged comic-book. I told them about how I had tried, years ago, to have poetry published in 'the real world' and how hard it had been... But that with blogging anyone can have their voice out there. Of course, whether anyone will be listening is another story entirely... But I do have faith!

Pet Peeves

Don't you hate it when... people's mobile phones ring - while you're talking to them? Or the smoke wafts into your "no-smoking゛ section of the restaurant? I'm sure I can think of some other things, given the time.

School Festival (Emailed in Autumn 2004)

I just went to my High School's culture festival, or 'Bunka-Sai', yesterday. The students plan the whole thing themselves and teachers just help with the organising. You can really see the students’ imagination and warmth towards one another, and even better see them have a really great time with something they have created by and for themselves!

There were lots of games and food stalls and a play of Cinderella in modern terms. There was even a haunted school where a classroom is black and it is full of ghosts! The students set up food stalls in the school playground with fried noodles, curry, popcorn and other snacks, each with handmade signs and at cheap prices. They also made some cafes in the classes- some girls made one selling coffee and snacks called 'Heartbucks'. It was all so much fun- and I was practically the only teacher there. Lots of students came from other schools too, probably to get boyfriends or girlfriends. It was so noisy on the bus to the school because of this that I was very glad to have my headphones available. Seeing as I have taught in other schools in the area, some of them remembered me. One even said her little sister knows me from elementary school!